The Lifejacket

Sailing date - part 1

Hannah opened the door to the shed revealing the interior.  It was pretty run down, containing mostly old junk it seemed.  The life jacket was immediately obvious.  It was a vibrant yellow that seemed bright even in the dim shed.  It had reflective strips which caught the sunlight coming through the open door.  My eyes were drawn to them immediately.  It was hanging on a hook on the wall next to some old ropes and shovels. 

Hannah walked over and retrieved it, I stepped back outside, making room for her as she exited with it. 

The lifejacket that Hannah was holding was very different from what I had expected.  I was picturing something with unicorns on it or something.  The lifejacket was your typical shade of neon yellow but its shape was very unusual.  

As Hannah shook it out the first thing I noticed was the collar. I had seen kids' life jackets with a sort of hood behind the head before, but this one was different.  It was thick. Like easily three inches thick. And it looked like it would sit flat across the shoulders with a cutout in the middle for your neck.  The foam panels in the front were also really thick looking. And it had a burly mess of straps hanging off of it. I was frankly more than a little turned off.  

Hannah seemed unsurprised by my reaction “Ya, I know.  It’s a bit much.  It’s from years ago, before we moved here, when we used to sail on the ocean.  It’s literally called the ‘super safe’”.

She hesitated. “I totally understand if you want to go back into town.  But honestly there’s NEVER anyone out here.  So it’s not like people will see you.  And it’s SUCH a nice day…” She held the jacket out and opened it up, giving me puppy dog eyes. “…I’ll oweeeee you?…”

It was enough for me to try it. Feeling very uncertain, I turned around and started to slide my arms through the holes. I was reasonably confident this crazy life jacket was not going to fit me anyway.  

“Ow my god! Really? You’re the best.”  Hannah’s excitement made it immediately clear she didn’t actually think I would go for it. She started to move forward with the lifejacket but then stopped.  “Do you have an extra shirt? If not, you might want to lose that one now so it doesn’t get wet.”

I did not have an extra shirt, I was also not that confident in my body and had not been shirtless in front of this attractive female yet.  But I did not want to drive home with a wet shirt, or appear to be uncomfortable being shirtless. 

I quickly and clumsily pulled my shirt off over my head. Hanna held out a hand for it and I gave it to her.  

She tossed it over her shoulder and held the lifejacket back up. 

Now even less comfortable without my shirt. I put my right hand through the first hole in the jacket.  It felt a tiny bit weird to have her hold it as I slid my arm through.  But Hannah continued to stand there holding the life jacket open. So I slid my arm the rest of the way through and rotated my back to her, looking over my shoulder for the other hole. I was struck by how soft the material was against my arm, it wasn’t the typical cheap nylon you got on every life jacket I’d seen previously. It felt almost like a velvet on my exposed skin. It felt expensive. 

I was having trouble finding the other hole, partly because the jacket was so small that the hole was more in the small of my back, partly because Hannah was holding it a little too high, causing me to have to bend forward slightly.

“Here”. Hannah seemed to have decided I needed help.  She pulled the lifejacket back down my right arm to around my elbow.  Then let go of the jacket with one hand, grabbing my left wrist, and manoeuvring it, gently but pretty firmly,  through the other hole. 

For a brief moment I was kinda stuck, with both my arms part way through the jacket and a little too close together at the elbow.  I was emotionally a bit torn here, on one hand I was being manhandled into a kids life jacket, on the other I was getting some very close and personal attention from an attractive female who I was very fond of.  

“Haha- sorry- you look kinda funny.  Ok sorry let me help.” She had laughed but it was in a kind- not a teasing way.  Hannah had moved around in front of me.  She reached around me under my left arm and over my right shoulder.  Taking hold of the lifejacket and pulling it up my arms. It got tighter as it moved up them. I was sure it was not going to fit and nearly said so, but Hannah gave it a good wriggle and all of a sudden she managed to get it around me.  The jacket practically popped up onto my shoulders, my arms were suddenly free and the jacket was around my torso instead of tied up on my arms.  

With the lifejacket now ‘on’ I was struck by a few things very quickly. 

The first was the softness of the material. I had noticed it already on my arms but with the jacket now resting on my bare shoulders, chest and upper back I was really struck by it.  It was almost fuzzy in how soft it was.  It was really comfortable, and unlike anything I had worn before.  

The next most notable thing though was definitely the collar.  Again I had noticed earlier that it was unusually thick and seemed designed to wrap around the sides of your head.  I could now confirm this observation.  The collar was thick enough, and wrapped around the sides of my head enough, that I could feel it on the bottom of my jaw bones and back of my scalp.  It frankly felt pretty restrictive. 

I was brought back to my senses by Hannah, she had never let go of the life jacket after pulling it up over my shoulders.  Now she was holding the two front panels and gave them a shake as though to line them up.  The feeling of the soft liner rubbing over my skin as she did this gave me tingles.  The jackets straps and buckles banged around, sounding heavy duty and metallic. 

Hannah had the zipper lined up.  A moment later she had it connected and with one fluid motion pulled the slider up.  Sealing the lifejacket around my torso. Even the zipper made a more heavy duty sound than a traditional jacket. As she did up the front of the vest I felt it pulled in more tightly around me.  The collar, in particular, was pulled up tight against the back of my neck when the two halves were pulled together.  And I felt contact with the jacket more fully across my upper back. 

“Wow! You actually fit.” She caught herself. “Sorry, I just didn't really think you would.”  She took a couple steps back. “Ow man this is great, we can actually go out after all.”

For my part I was busy taking stock of the jacket around me.  The back was a firm, almost rigid, panel.  I twisted left and right a little and noticed how I really did so at the waist only, my torso felt a bit like a plank. I tried moving my head around and was really limited on that front, I could look left and right if I really wanted to but only a little without angling my chin up to clear the thick foam collar.  

Looking down at the jacket I could see the chest strap hanging loose.  It also looked more premium than what you found on typical life vests.  Again the material surprised me, it wasn’t the normal sort of stiff webbing you expect, it was smoother and more flexible, like seatbelt webbing. Both sides of the chest strap ended in metal rectangles. 

I pulled the two halves of the chest strap toward each other but they were, unsurprisingly, too short. I figured it was probably ok, the jacket was zipped up, it would work even without the chest strap.

Hannah walked back up to me. “I can let some slack out for you, I know it’s kinda hard to reach things when you're wearing that haha.”

“Have you worn this?” I was surprised.  I could feel but not see her tugging on something on my right hand side, under my armpit, as she answered.

“Ow ya! It was my lifejacket before it was my sisters, I actually wore it until I was like 14 I think. It does actually fit pretty large.”

I flustered at the reminder that I was wearing a children's lifejacket.

“I think the only reason I got out of it was honestly because my sister outgrew her baby one. I still had lots of room in it.”

She stopped messing with the jacket and stepped back 

“Do those straps reach now?”

I turned my attention back to the chest straps, they reached each other easily now.  But I had no idea how to connect them.

“Ahh, how do they-”

“Here” Hannah seemed to read my mind and stepped back up, taking the two straps from my hands. She passed one rectangle sideways though the other. It made a dinging sound at the metal on metal contact.  That was obvious enough that I should have figured it out, I thought.  

Hannah then reached around me and pulled on the same out of sight fastener on my right hand side.  I was pulled forward by the unexpectedly hard tug and bumped into her.  

“Sorry!” She apologised putting a hand on my right shoulder to steady me before pulling again.

I felt the strap around my chest pull in tight.  Squishing the foam inward around my torso.

Hannah took a step back “There ya go. Cosy?”

The lifejacket was bizarre, it wasn’t at all uncomfortable despite being really pretty restrictive.  I twisted around trying to get used to it. Taking hold of the shoulders I was struck by how dense yet squishy the foam felt.

“Well I sure feel safe” I joked trying to make light of the situation.

“Ya I actually do remember it feeling kinda safe and cosy.” 

She smiled, folding her arms over her own, much cooler, lifejacket and leaning back slightly as though to admire me. 

“You know you’re actually pretty cute in that” 

The compliment gave me tingles on the back of my neck.  I was taken aback but went with it. Making a joke pose like a superhero, I put my fists on my hips and turned at the waist, leaning back and putting my chest to the sky. As I rotated I noticed again that I couldn’t really turn my head with the collar and had to twist at the waist a bit more than planned.

Hannah laughed. I beamed. 

“Is it actually ok though?  It looks not too tight on you but I know it’s pretty restrictive to have on.”

“It really isn’t that bad.” I did feel weird but I was committed to dealing with it at this point and might as well be chill about it. 

“You’re honestly so awesome for going along with this.”  

I’d never received so many complements in so short a time. 

Hannah’s tone went back to business. “So. There’s ahhh, a couple last straps….”  She trailed off and stepped forward, reaching around both sides of me. She was close enough that her life jacket brushed up against mine and I could smell her hair.  I did my best to remain calm.  I felt her grabbing at the small of my back. She stepped back with a long thin strap in each hand.  “These ahhh, … go between your legs.” She looked down.  “You might want to take your jeans off first tho. cuz you obviously won't really be able to after...”  

This took me by surprise, I had noticed the leg straps on the thing when she first got it.  But I hadn’t thought she would imply they actually be buckled up.  The jacket was for kids after all.

“Really?” I hadn’t meant to speak but maybe my expression was enough even without my saying anything.  Hannah didn’t look angry.

“Yaaa I know. Sorry.” She sounded apologetic. “It’s honestly up to you. Like I said, you really don't have to wear it.” She was still holding the ends of the leg straps. 

The implication was that if I was wearing the jacket I apparently had to wear it with the leg straps done up...  I wasn’t going to bail or argue with her at this point so I just sighed inwardly.  Feeling very awkward, I started to undo my jeans.  Hannah smiled and blushed, dropping the crotch straps to give me some freedom of movement. 

Removing my jeans with the bulky lifejacket on was actually more difficult than you would think. The collar and bulky foam over my chest restricted my movement and visibility so I had to feel around for things.  I had to move my torso a bit like a plank as I worked the pants down off my bathing suit.  Maintaining my balance was proving a bit of a challenge.  As I started trying to get my first leg out of the pants I realised I needed to take my shoes off, while standing on one foot to accomplish this with my pants halfway down I nearly managed to tumble backwards.  

Hannah, seemingly concerned, was quick to help steady me.  But instead of offering me an arm, she grabbed what must have been a loop on the back of the lifejacket, keeping a hold of it while moving to stand behind me.  At first this seemed weird and I almost straightened up, but then I lost balance again and she took most of my weight, easily holding me up in my half bent over position. It was actually really helpful.  It occurred to me that perhaps this was just a force of habit; it was how she helped her sister when she was wearing this jacket. Or even how she was helped when she used to wear it. Either way it was remarkably easy to keep myself up with her holding the jacket, and I had the use of both arms. I managed to get both shoes off and legs out of my jeans in pretty good order with her holding the jacket steady.  Straightening up I half heartedly folded up my jeans.  

I looked for Hannah planning to hand them to her as I had my shirt.  She was still behind me holding the loop on the back of my lifejacket with one hand; but using it to keep her own balance now as she leaned around in front of me. Half hanging in front of my waist she reached with her other hand between my thighs.  I froze awkwardly as she grabbed the pair of crotch straps hanging from the back of my life jacket and pulled them through my legs.

As she straightened up back into a standing position; the ends of the straps in her hand. I suddenly felt them pulled up into me.  The straps pulled up tightly, bunching up my bathing suit and giving me a wedgie.  I let out a quick yelp at the unexpected turn but Hannah must have noticed the sudden resistance in the straps as she had already lowered her hand to relieve the pressure. 

“Sorry! I guess we need to make those a bit longer for you.”  She blushed again slightly as she let go of the straps, letting them fall and swing back though my legs. 

“All good” I managed. Pulling my bathing suit out from my but awkwardly. 

“Should have seen that coming I guess, you’re small but not as small as my kid sister” Hanna laughed as she went down onto her knees by my side, leaning around behind me.  The second comment on my stature didn't seem to bother me as much as the first for some reason.  Possibly because I was distracted. 

I could feel her tugging on the straps behind me as I stood there. I twitched suddenly as her arm brushed against the inside of my bare thigh, she was passing the straps back through my legs.  Hannah took the straps in her other hand as she shuffled around on her knees to my front.

“These are kinda a pain to adjust sorry.   My dad switched out the original buckles for these sliding ones at some point.  I remember being able to adjust them without undoing them when I was a kid”

This time when Hannah brough the first strap up to the buckle it connected easily with lots of room to spare. But to my surprise she immediately unclipped it again, letting it fall loosely back.

I was confused “Did that not work?”

“Huh? No sorry it was super loose I let out too much.  Let me try again. Sorry, I told you it was a pain”

Not sure what to say I again stood there as she pulled at the straps behind me. This time just leaning around my leg rather than moving. I pulled at the foam over my chest with my free hands and rolled my shoulders, trying to get used to the feeling of the bulky vest.  Apparently having trouble Hannah gave up leaning around me and got briefly to her feet to move behind me. I really noticed the presence of the collar with her behind me as it completely  prevented me from looking over my shoulder to see what she was doing.  

Finally Hannah seemed to be finished as she half got up half and crawled around back in front of me. Plopping herself down on her but in front of my feet. I spread my legs as she casually reached between them and retrieved one of the straps.  As she pulled it up towards the buckle I felt it bunch up my bathing suit and press into my crotch again. She’d made it too short again, but this time hadn't pulled it up as suddenly or aggressively as so I managed not to yelp.

But then there was a click as she managed to get the strap buckled in. 

“There we go!” Hannah seemed pleased as she reached quickly through my legs again for the second strap. Without really thinking I leaned forward and reached behind me to try and pull the strap out of my but as it was giving me a very mild wedgie.  The second strap must have been slightly shorter than the first as I felt it pull up more sharply as Hannah got it buckled in. 

I straightened back up and both straps pulled up more tightly but the second one, on my right, really cut up into me, and I quickly leaned forward again.  

“Ahh that's a bit tight Hannah.” I complained without a thought. 

“Crap sorry” sounded genuine. 

She was halfway to getting to her feet and dropped back down before reaching up and uncliping both straps.

“Ow shit sorry, I got the second one twisted, was it both of them or just that one?”

“They're both pretty tight, can't you just leave them loose?”  

“No, it needs to be snug, but it shouldn’t be uncomfortable. Especially seeing as we are really pushing things already using a kid jacket for you.  You’re probably over the weight range”  Apparently she was over moving around as she was just adjusting the straps by reaching though my legs this time.

“I told you they are a pain to adjust, I should have marked where it was set for my sister before changing it.”  

“Sorry about that” I said it in a joking tone as I awkwardly tried to keep my thighs as wide apart as I could while she worked at the straps though them. 

“It will be so worth it, you’ll have a blast I promise.  Ok, here this should be good.”

She leaned back pulling both straps though with her as she moved from her but to a kneeling position in front of me

“Ok hold on let me make sure I don't twist one again. God I remember that hurting. Sorry about that, I haven’t done that in ages” She was kneeling in front of me and holding the two crotch straps in her right hand, she took a moment reach though my legs again with her left hand reaching her arm all the way   Through to grab the the far end of the straps where they connected to the jacket at the small of my back, and running her hand down the entire length of the straps back to the front.  “Ok ya were good, no twists.”

As she pulled the first strap up bunching up my bathing suit once again I felt the strap press into me at the exact moment I heard the loud click of the buckle.  Hannah pulled at the strap a couple times causing some uncomfortable rubbing.  

“OK, there finally”

She brought the other strap up, bunching up the other side of my suit and again I felt it press up against me just as the buckle clicked. 

“OK”

Hannah got to her feet brushing the dirt off her knees as she did so.

Once on her feet she stepped toward me and grabbed the shoulders of the jacket.  Unexpectedly giving me a good shake. Causing the jacket to shift around and the straps between my legs to pull up into me slightly more a couple of times. 

“You look all good. Ready to go?” 

I nodded. Trying my best to remain casual despite the mass of foam secured around my torso and the straps pressing into me between my legs. 

The straps between my legs were just tight enough to be impossible to ignore.  I had an urge to pull at them or pull away from them.  

“Here’s your shirt, want to put your stuff in your car? I can put your keys in my dry bag so they don't get wet but it’s a bit small for clothing.”

I nodded, taking the shirt and turning back to my car.